The more “spiritual” that I think I become, the more I realize that the less spiritual I really am.
Allowing God to teach us to grow helps us realize how vulnerable that we really are. It is in realizing this that we must simply give everything over to God and quit struggling to do things on our own. God requests nothing special of any one of us. He requests nothing we are to do by ourselves, and nothing that we are to do without Him. He with His blood atonement is both the work and feeling.
It does not matter what the situation is; if your marriage is a disaster; if you are broke and jobless, or if you feel as if you are standing on the edge of a cliff – feeling like you want to jump. There is no situation that you can encounter that He is not…
What does the bible say about tattoos? On the one hand, we see in Leveiticus 19:28 that Tattoos are vehemently disallowed in the bible. On the other hand, we see places where God/ Jesus seems to have a tattoo (Revelations 19:16, Isaiah 49:16). So what is happening here?
There are several answers to this:
no! Tattoos are bad! …. well, are they that bad? What of those who were not christians in those days and then got a tattoo and after that, then they became a convert into Christianity. Are they not allowed to be Christians anymore because they have tattoos? Are they to be labelled as “fake christians” just because they have tattoos? … I do not think that this is the way that we should treat other Christians who have a tattoo. But are we also going to discourage others from having tattoos? Well, this is the subject we’re going to discuss about today.
Here in the @rccgpal, we do not advise that tattoos are acceptable. For because of how “in the grey areas” this doctrine of tattoos are, it is better to stay far away from what seems to be sin than to toy with it. We do not want to use the liberty by whihc God has saved us by to willfully commit a sin.
However, we also believe in the distinction between God’s Grace and God’s Law. In the Law of Moses, we know that Tattoos are wrong. So what of outside the Law of Moses? What of other nations that have tattoos as a culture? What of other Tribes and Cultures that tattoo such as the traditional people of New Zealand? How does Church Syncretism work in this case?
This is why I am referring to a denominational solution. Let God talk to you. Let HIM tell you if tattoos are alright for you or not. Tattoos or no tattoos will not make you miss your salvation in heaven. People go to hell for not believeing in Jesus, for not having faith in Jesus, not because they have or not-have a tattoo.
Over the past few months – if not years – I have noticed in myself the presence of work, a lot of work, and hard work. Work that seems so insane to do – that requires a lot of skills and quick thinking. For example, moving things away from the Church, regulating people together so that they are able to work well and produce a desired outcome – to move towards a common goal.
One of the biggest challenges facing @rccgpal right now is looking a place of worship for ourselves right now – and we are marching forward and doing that by the special Grace of God in Jesus’ Name. But I want to point out my appreciation of all those who have worked with me – Go bless you all in Jesus’ Name. In this article, Titlted Christian Laziness VS Rest. There is a very thin line here. The thin line is in obeying
Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest, lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief.
He who has a slack hand becomes poor, But the hand of the diligent makes rich. He who gathers in summer is a wise son; He who sleeps in harvest is a son who causes shame.”
And sometimes, under this dispensation of Grace, one may need to find the middle ground between “resting” and “not being lazy”. When you rest, as a Christian, because you have the Grace of God there with you, helping you and seeing you through out your life, you have peace, true peace in your heart. But that does not mean that you ‘re not going about doing meaningful things to the glory of God. It may as well mean that you’re working very hard. For example consider Lionel Messi secret to success in football
He knows how to balance out the complexity of having a calm mind and being agile at the same time. So it is with we Christians too. We need to be able to balance out havign a clam mind with being agile. I know that theb confusion is that there is a thin line between being “not lazy” and then “restful” and striking out that balanace is very important.
Jesus was full of rest HIMSELF – even though HE was alwasy going about working. Many people wanted to hear HIM speak. Many people wanted a piece of HIS healiong action – it was so much for HIM that many times, Jesus had to sneak out in a peaceful part of the dark to go and pray to HIS Father because HE had to.
We too, we should endeavour to be not-lazy, to be hardworking, while maintaining our rest at the same time. That way, we can achieve so much, keep on burning for Jesus and never burn out.
Social Media and Church Growth is very important for Churches to have. We @rccgpal believe in the utilisation of social media, or ANY KIND OF MEDIA to propagate the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ. I mean, we just want you to hear it, to hear HIM – HE must be heard, seen, related to… by any means necessary.
Social Media Belongs to God
We do understand that the devil is trying to use social media to lure in our Children. We hate this. We do not want this. We reject it in Jesus’ Name. But just like sex, we know that God created social media because HE, HIMSELF, is the very foundation of “socail”. God is social. God looked at Adam and said:
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Genesis 2:18 NIV
And by that same logic, God is Good. If God is Good, then God is not alone. This is what is seen in the complexity of what we know as the Trinity which likewise fits very much, very well into the philosophical idea of “love”. Love, by definition, if it is primarily selfish, is not really love. So, God loves HIMSELF, but not primarily. The Truest sense of the word for love and how God loves, is that the Father Loves the Son and Spirit; the Son loves the Father and Spirit and the Spirit Loves the Father and Son. Love, by philosophical attribution, at a primary fundamental level, is always outward to another subject. Hence, this is what makes God, on a fundamental level, to be to be a Social Being. This is why I said that God is social.
This is why I believe that God wants us to be social. God wants us to grow our sphere of social influence as big as possible because we are Christians. This is why the bible says
For all creation [κτίσεως (ktiseōs) ] is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are.
Romans 8:19 NLT
The bible tells us that all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day where God will reveal you, HIS Child. And Jesus told us:
And he said to them, “Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation[κτίσεως (ktisei) ].
Mark 16:15 ESV
The greek words ktisei and ktisei both form from the same originative greek word ktisis which means creation (the act or the product). In essence, God is sending us to all and sundry with HIS message. I always say, “If it has been created, then preach to it“. Living and non-living. Even the earth too needs you to preach to her. Bless this earth, say that the boundary lines of this earth will fall for you in pleasant places (Pslam 16:6). Say that you will eat the Good of the land (Isaiah 1:19). You need to get into a habit of preaching to yourself too, of preaching to inanimate earth too and of preaching to all and sundry in the social world of men.
So how does social media help? Well, for one, you can ADD prudence to your physical movement – that is, you can add a virtual movement. As said earlier, the devil wants to take over the earth, the earth does not belong to the devil. The devil wants to take over social media, social media does not belong to the devil. What belongs to the devil? Nothing! The devil is a liar, thief and murderer (John 10:10). All keys – authorities have been given to Jesus (Matthew 16:19). So, this uis what makes me believe that SOCIAL MEDIA BELONGS TO JESUS – Not the Devil.
Ecclesiology and Social Media
So, how can social medai be used in our Ecclesiology? Well, the word “social” connotates some sort of complexity. There is no “one size fits all in socialising”. As much as socailising indicates “relationship”, “interacting”; The people of Japan would not want us to relate to them as we would, the people of china. And neither would the people of China require us to interact with them as we would, the people of Zimbabwe. You see, everyone is different. And even in those “national groups”… not every individual is the same when interactingf with them. Eveyone has their own individual backgrounds. This is why the bible says:
The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life; and he that winneth souls iswise.
Proverbs 11:30 KJV
It takes the wisdom of the Holy Spirit to win a soul. And its not just winning souls in terms of bringing them to a saving/ repenting knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. It is also, winning souls in the present continuous tense … going on and on, today, tomorrow and forever. That’s how you show that the wisdom of God is with you – hey! even if you do not show it, the wisdom of God is STILL with you – have faith 🙂
How does interacting with and relating to people on social media actually help church growth? As we learnt in one of our theological classes titled: Incorporeality and Omniscience, we saw that
Persons are the locus of value. And the more we relate with other people, the more we bring out values. This is how the secular world works especially in capitalism and currencies. However, we are a chosen people, a royal priesthood who believes in the ideals of God’s economy. We are the ones who are supposed to know how to do social media very well – not worldly people.
Now we know that people are complicated and people are qunique and different. There are people that no matter what you do, you will never be able to be on good terms with them. There are those that you don’t even have to try, you find out that you just magically click. IT TAKES THE WISDOM OF GOD TO DEAL WITH PERSONS. When you know this, you will stay in the presence of Jesus. In fact, there are many things that Jesus has taught us that really helps us to deal with people.
turn the other cheek
go the extra mile
bless those who curse you etc
we know that dealing with people in the ideal ways that Jesus has taught is not gonna be easy expecially towards many kinds of people. That is why a matured person is a people-person. People are not robots, they are spirits. Knowing how to deal with one is key and it takes the help of the Holy Spirit.
Sometimes, to get the best out of people, you have to show them Grace, sometimes, you have to show them law. All in all, you have to be ready to deal with people, pass with some, fail with some, the joyful with some and be frustrated with some – all of them can be seen on the spectrum from non-christians to christians all alike. But, yes, you still have to deal with people in God’s kingdom.
Socialising is the Key to Church Growth
So, since people are very important, and people who own businesses will tell you this too. How do they affect the ecclesiology of Church growth in the general sense?
For one, you can’t ignore people. Specifically, you can ignore certain kinds of people but generally, you can’t.
Secondly, there are many otherchurches around us, it is important that we, as a Church, get into their motions too. Let their struggles be our struggles and let their celebration be our own celebration too.
Thirdly, it is impotant to build each other up. Joyce Meyer alwasy says something: “If you’re struggling with Joy, go make someone else joyful, stop concentrating on yourself.” I also remember a story of a minister who saw people in hell. They were given very long spoons and told to eat from a pot of soup that would sustain them. All of them kept trying to eat for themselves and they were hungry, frustrated, starving and dieing in hell. The minister was later shown in this vision anoter room where the same criteria was given to these people but rather than feeding themselves, their own ego, they decided to humbly feed each other. The moral of the story is that, we Churches need to learn to feed each other because the work that God has given us, for us to grow, is too big (or too long) for us to only better ourselves with.
The pride of the Adult Christian is something that has been noticed to be evident insome Christians. There are many people who have reportedly left christianity becaue of the activities of other Christians who are said to have been Christians long before these ‘others’ fall out. The fallout-christian either becomes a nominal christian or a degenerated christian – and by degenerate, I’m using a theological lingo and not merely an insulting one.
What is it with Adult Christians that gives them so much pride and how is it that this prode is used to oppress many othe Christians.
Characteristics of the Adult Christian
This Christian may know the bible inside and outside
This Christian may know all the lingo used in the church
This Christians knows how to get their way with the bible/ scripture either physically or spiritually
The know all the expert-nuances of being a christian in such a way that they can divide essence from superficial parts.
However, there is nothing more terrifying than an Adult Christian, who had developed great familiarity with Jesus, to become prideful. For a Christian, an Adult Christian to become prideful, such christian would seem to have been “spoilt” … like a spoilt child growing up. What happened? Did Jesus not discipline him enough? Or did this Christian enter into social power too quickly? For example, imagine becoming a Christian and you havent spent more than 1 year being a new Christian and you have already been given a place of authority in the Church. This is not nice. There are many Christians like this and it is suffocating many other Christians, especially shaking christians and baby christians.
How do you recognise a Prideful Christian? He/ She may not even know that they are proud in the first place. It may be that they have a wagging finger always laying burdens on other Christians. This is what Jesus said concerning the Pharisees
They pile heavy burdens on people’s shoulders and won’t lift a finger to help.
If you find that your fellow Christian is always giving you so much law – do this, do that, if not, you’re not a real christian. If you find out that they are not skillfully abound grace towards you, it may just be that they are a prideful adult christian.
Everything they do is just to show off in front of others. They even make a big show of wearing Scripture verses on their foreheads and arms, and they wear big tassels for everyone to see.
If you find out that their Christian values seem to be very different in their private lives and yet, they expect/ demand a higher double standard from you, then they are a prideful adult Christian.
They love the best seats at banquets and the front seats in the meeting places.
If they like to be highly esteemed by you so that you reverence and fear them- for any reason. Maybe they were your mentor. Maybe they prayed for you for deliverance regarding certain things and you go well. Maybe. But that does not mean that they should lord it over you. I know that there is space for respect. But respect is earned in humility. You need the kind of humble adult Christian who says, “I know I spent sleepless nights praying and fasting for you, but I am not going to make you, nor me, nor anyone for that matter, make me prideful.” This is the hallmark of an balanaced adult Christian.
This is one of the reason why Daddy G.O. always says that “Pastor” is the highest position in the Redeemed Christian Church of God. If you want anyother boastful title, then go somewhere else.
You Pharisees and teachers of the Law of Moses are in for trouble! You’re nothing but show-offs. You travel over land and sea to win one follower. And when you have done so, you make that person twice as fit for hell as you are.
Lastly, the hallmark of prideful Christian is that they do not understand the Grace of God. They only understand the Law of Moses – and after finally oppressing new converts, they make them twice as fit for hell than they are.
Please, be ware of prideful Adult Christians who want to make you admit that they know all, they could never be wrong and who oppress you without Grace. And if you are one yourself, search your heart. Ask the Holy Spirit where you may be failing. And get yourself connect back to your Heavenly Father who loves you very much in all humility and Grace.
This is a very disorientating question to inquire into. From one perspective, in our woke, politically correct culture, rape jokes seem to be the devil’s liquor. Of course, can anyone still see the hidden irony in that? Aren’t there people who would love the drink of the devil ‘s liquor? like, for real? I know I’m a Christian and I do not drink but this is the essence of the argument that I am making
One Man’s poison is another man’s food
One Man’s trash is another man’s treasure
Isnt this the spirit behind multiculturalism? Isnt this the spirit behing diversity? So, what is happening here? Isn’t diversity our strength anymore? I know I do not believe that diversity is our strength but those who pander this rhethric always say this. So why the change of heart all of a sudden?
Many of you know that this is a Church. RCCG stands for “The Redeemed Christian Church of God”. The mere fact that you see “Christian” and “Church” in the same context brings in all sorts of connotations as to what “box” or “group” you’re going to put this Church into. It is very important that we make our stance very clear. The head of this Church, Pastor Trude Adewoyin, has made it very clear the kind of spirit that she wants to bring about in @rccgpal: It is a spirit of Grace – one that does not attack muslims, atheists, norminal Christians or non-affiliated people. So it is important to know that all views expressed here are the views of the authour, me. I am the one who is researching and finding out what I personally believe @rcccgpal stands for in terms of abortion laws.
Surely, as a Church, and seeing that this is a very sensitive topic, we would like to stay quiet over broadcasting this on our News/ Blogs but rather quietly tell you and let you know should you be be to be so interested in what our stance actually is. @rccgpal is a chruch that encourages dialogue; we agree. we disagree and agree-to-disagree on vrious matters of theology, ecclesiology and evangelism. We recognise and appreciate that despite the seemingly simplicity of life, interacting in the social world of freewilled men put a lot of complexity in reality. So we encourage everyone’s uniquness as long as they do not believe to violate what we believe to be core values of what we stand for.
So, from whence cometh this issue of abortion? and why is it becoming more and more important to take a stand on it? Why is it that the abortion debate is becoming more and more polarised and we, as a church, cannot remain anymore silent on it. Well, it is because we are a Church and we believe that the government alone cannot deal with this issue. If you’ve had your ears pilled on the news nowadays, you would have noticed that the states of Georgia, Missouri and Alabama in the United States of America has come under great backlash and scrutiny over their abortion laws. This is somewhat of a conundrum because because the abortion laws are not as absolute as the mainstream media wants you to believe. They virtually never seem to attack the matter itself.
You virtually never hear of news positioned in a way that gets you an education on what the Abortion laws actually say. It would seem that in this age and generation, the news organisation have found out that people care more about what celebrities say in their #YouKnowMe hashtag abortion story movement than what the Truth actually says. This is why I like what Candance Owens says in her video: Dear Celebrities: No One Cares What You Think
And I think she did a balanced job onthat. Others may say, “Its not the fault of the mainstream media companies as they are dying out with President Donald Trump coining the word #FakeNews – other new independent journalism have seem to have arisen and people would rather trust others who were there, who personally recorded videos on twitter, snapchat and facebook regarding the situation. The Mainstream media is being trusted less and less nowadays to actually tell the truth or display the “spirit” of the Truth in Good Faith and not just go for clickbaits. Well, we will see how far that will take them.
Back to the matter of abortion – in our outrage culture, there are people who are sensitised by facts or people who are sensitised by feelings on a case by case basis. At the heart of the matter, the laws over abortion is not a logical fact – who cares if a few babies die – people die in this world all the time. The laws of abortion are an emotional argument primarily, followed by the secondary consistency or coherence of good logic. This is not a political left vs. right issue because there are people on both parts of the political spectrum who favour abortion on many different bipartisan issues.
So where does @rccgpal stand on this issue of abortion? Simply, we abhor abortion. We hate it so much – in every sense of the word.
Now I earlier spoke about the abortion laws and I can tell you that those abortion laws we hear of from the USA are not absolute. They are limited. The abortion laws say that if you can detect a heart beat in the baby, it is illegal FOR THE DOCTOR to abort that baby – even if you did it in another state and came back to that state, if you get caught, you would be prosecuted and may face jail time. The exceptions include where the baby poses a serious threat to the life of the mother.
The New York late abortion laws as seen in the video above, go on to prove that this “exception” can be stretched to mean a lot of things. It does not mean “fatal” risk to the mother but could mean “mental” risk to the mother and one should be careful about this.
So, why is this such a controversial issue? Well there are several arguments I want to debunk:
Limits on Abortion equals More illegal/ unsafe Abortions
This is for the most case, most probably true – and it is logical in the sense of the propositoin.
if you make abortion illegal, abortion becomes illegal
people who want to abort, will surely abort one way or the other – and this could involve unsafe means
Do abortion laws help stop abortions? What good are they for?
When does life begin?
This is the elephant in the room and the whole reason for this blog/ news. We, @rccgpal, wholly believe that human life begins at conception. And I believe that law makers have had their conscience woken up by many prolife advocates incluing ex abortion clinc director Abby Johnson
So what good do restrictive abortions laws do to a society? Well, this is the message: IF YOU WANT TO KILL YOUR BABY, DO IT YOURSELF, NO DOCTOR WILL HELP YOU. Isn’t it funny how facebook, youtube, twitter etc will censor an abortion proceedure taking place? There is a greusome technique in killing your pregnancy and the abortion laws do not care for your pro-choice bluff that you would kill your own baby yourself in an unsafe way. You want to kill your baby, do it with your own hands – bloody your hands, see what you are doing, let your conscience prick you – you deserve to see the consequences of your actions … whether you were raped or not. There is no need to get a doctor involved to take away the gruesome consequencies of your actions from you.
Abortion is not a right. ASSUMING for arguemnts sake that abortion was actually a woman’s right, why are is my tax money used to fund it?
Freedom speech is a right but the Government does not pay me to speak, create a website or write a book.
Freedom of religion is a right but the Governement does not pay my church to assemble, to open find a permananet site and gorw.
So why does my tax money go towards abortion? I am a Christian and I do not want to be complicit in your uterus decisions. Also, there is a double standard here. You’d normally hear the rhethoric from prochoicers, “Keep your politics/ laws out of my uterus” or “Stay out of my vagina”. These things are common knowledge happening nowadays. Well, if you don’t want my politics in your uterus, then am I free to tax away my tax money away from your uterus too? Abrotion should be highly expensive and rare … and if you still wanna do it, bloody your own hands, not mine.
Now there are people who would say that @rccgpal is taking an unfair stance in this situation and there are people who are victims of rape. However, it is not the victims of rape who have to pay for this. The baby who has a heartbeat by approximately 6 weeks and 6 days. The bible says in Ezekiel 18:20
The soul that sinneth, it shall die. The son shall not bear the iniquity of the father, neither shall the father bear the iniquity of the son: the righteousness of the righteous shall be upon him, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon him.
The child is not the father, so why should ANOTHER VICTIM pay for the sins of the choices of the Father? This is what the horrible father wants. Because he knows that if you keep this baby, one day, as they say in africa, the rooster will come back home to roost. I believe the children will condemn the father if my tax does not do anything in the state. I believe that the state should not kill any rapist too quickly. I believe that rapist should be put into FORCED HARD labour for many years to pay for the welfare of the child till an age where the child becomes independent. During while the mother can give the thumbs-up to the state if the man should be castrated. After which the independent-child and mother can choose if the rapist father should be released or put to death. This is how strong my stance is regarding rape. But I also feel like: IT IS A TERRIBLE MISTAKE TO LET THE CHILD PAY FOR THE SINS OF THE FATHER.
There are many children that exist today who are the products of rape – I would never call the a “sin of their father”. As a Christian, I believe that they are unique, cherished and blessed children of God – infinitely loved.
Other Bad ProChoice Arguments
The Child could have a horrible life because of my finances. I do not believe that a child is raised individually. It takes a community to raise a child. Now I know that I am in the UK and I look at what’s happening in the US sometimes but I realsie that there are other countries out there too. So, even if you do not have the government to help you, there is the community, there are charities, there are churches etc. If finances is an issue for you, I do not think you should let your child die without a good fight. This rebuttal also applies if you feel shame over having a baby and your family does not approve; there are other people and charities you can run to. I am confident that there will always be help out there.
The Child could have a horrible life because he would have come out with complications in health or be deformed and I do not want him to suffer in life. Now who are you to dictate the future of another human being? Who knows if the quirk of your child is needed to bring about a great world change like find a solutin to cancer or find a solution to longer life up to 300 years old? Or maybe if there would be solutions in the future that may cure your child. Well… either way, even if you win this bet and your child would suffer, that argument does not ‘carry on’ to everyuy other person who are having horrible conditions in life – when is it ever ok to kill another human being because they have a horrible condition? NEVER
The child is dependent on the mother and it is the mother’s choice: There are many other children – OUTSIDE THE WOMB – who are still dependent on their mothers. If we stay consistent with this logic, is it ever ok to kill another human being just because they are dependent on the mother?
Its just a bundle of cells and cannot be considerd human when in the womb: Now who is to say that being outside a womb magically makes you a human? This is the same horrible rationale that has birthed New Yorks late abortion laws. If the child is just a bundle of cells, you know what else is technically a bundle of cells? You. You too are a bundle of cells. This child has a unique DNA that is not the mother’s DNA.
It is the woman’s choice: Well, does the child get a choice in this matter? And who is to say the child cannot choose? You can choose! You just don’t have the standard level of communication to find out if a child wants to be alive. Well, here’s a psychology theory: Maslow’s Hierachy of Needs” which shows that even a “simple cell” reacts to simple pain in such a way as to counter the pain.
If there are any other prochoice abotion arguments you know, tell them… apart from killing a child just because it poses a fatal threat to the life of the other.
Future Steps Against Abortion
As a Christian, I believe that there are things we can do in the future to fight abortion. There are artificial wombs being researched on that I think every Christian should invest in. You don’t want your child? Don’t worry, we will take care of him/ her for you and make sure they get adopted into a more loving and competent home – being pregnant is not your fault, wanting to kill your preganancy, I will not fund, that one, is your sin and your fault. There are all sorts of eschatological consequences to this technology especially if it falls into tyrannical/ satanic hands but if it could stop the killing of more people, I will surely invest in this.
I urge you to continue to pray against abortion. A country that kills its children, kills its future and I do not want my tax money going to that to make me complicit in going to hell because I fear God. Kill your own child yourrself and erode your conscience in a false sense of self-liberation.
Hope for Abortionist
There is hope in Jesus if you have had an abortion or if you have aborted a child. Many of you Christians need a little bit of faith. Grow with Jesus, Get to know HIM. HE said,
Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.
Your heavenly Father wants to be at peace with you. HE loves you. There is so much grace and help available as you fight in this your good fight of faith.
This has been me exploring the views of @rccgpal as an institution and not as members. Members who may have a different point of view may discuss them continually with ourselves. More Grace to you all. I pray that the Lord Jesus keeps you free from all sin and writes your life story in a very beautiful way. God be with you .
So I’m writing this post to gather my mind around MGTOW. I, personally, I love women – well, as a Child of God lol … but I have watched some of these MGTOW videos and they have actually caused me to think.
Many of them actually point to the difference between men and women in general and the rise of neo-feminism – i.e., third wave feminism, spiting into the hurt and injury of MGTOW men, such as the #MeToo hashtage movement; have not seem, in pop-culture, to add an ounce of betterment to the affairs of men.
So what should be done regarding these RedPilled men. There other redpilled men such as PUA (Pick Up Artists), MRA (Men’s Rights Activists) etc.
I personally take issue with the claims of the MGTOW community: that women (in a statistical generality sense) are hypergamous in nature and cannot be trusted to “actually” love…